When I was a child I often felt out of place among my peers. I would invent solitary games and talk to myself, only in my solitude did I feel at peace. As I grew older my teenage years were still filled with the same love for solitude and a love for imagination, I still felt out of place but it was more of and angry rebellion against the status-quo. I was restless, video games were a distraction I clung to but even then I felt an emptiness that left me disconnected.
I started to realize I was living in a matrix like society full of systems of control that kept people busy and distracted chasing what isn't real. I was told I need to focus and pick a vocation that would pay well so that I could be happy and "live the dream". So I went to college and still had the same restless energy. I took up an interest in culinary arts, and switched schools. For the first time I actually felt that I was doing something that was part of me and not what I was supposed to do. Unfortunately the restless energy came back as the classes went from about the culinary arts to the production of food in terms of profit and business.
More recently after working towards the goal of becoming free of this world, I did a lot of soul searching and found who I call my true-self. I realized that the restless energy that was so eager to be somewhere else is the only part of me that matters. I found peace in creating, specifically visual Art and the only time the restless energy is quelled, is when I am drawing, painting, or designing.
I am speaking from my experience simply to inform others who are searching for something but they don't know what it is yet. Find yourself, don't let anyone tell you who you are, and don't let what you are determine the answer. Don't be afraid to be abnormal the norm is to live a meaningless life, create something, inspire others, dedicate your life to something, and above all care!
Here is a preview of some of the weapons I have been working on for the upcoming game "Strange Galaxy Black Lotus", original designs by Shawn O'Toole.
http://yellowplasma.deviantart.com/